1. Christmas Shoes. To Christians with musical taste, this is like saying the name Voltemort (not that we’ve read the book), so just read about this “song” here as I will not speak of it.
2. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer. Tells about Grandma’s imbibing, which is either a lie, and therefore a violation of the 8th Commandment, or is true (and sounds like it is, hence the incident itself), and therefore violates the 5th Commandment (murdering the old lady’s reputation). There is no mitigation in the commandment-breaking for the recording artist, even though grandma’s own family is broadcasting the situation.
3. Please, Daddy, Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas. See #2 above.
4. The Little Drummer Boy. Hey, there is nothing in the gospels about a drummer being present at the birth of Christ! What next? A fourth wise man bearing a box of Huggies for the Christ Child? C’mon.
5. The Little Drummer Boy. Because I hate it. And don’t give me this “but have you heard the David Bowie/Bing Crosby version??” argument. Rump-a-pum-pum is not musical poetry, no matter who sings it.
What else should be on the list?