Outa Control

It’s a smalold-lady-behind-steering-wheell word, really. Just seven letters.

But I can’t have it.

I can’t control the weather (brrrr). I can’t control my dog’s newfound love of going out four times in the middle of the night. I can’t control other people’s moods or beliefs about my job and what I think is right.

I can’t control what will happen tonight.

Tonight there will be an announcement made that will impact my job, not to mention the lives of millions. It’s an all-nighter for me, something I haven’t done since law school.

I can’t control what my friends say on Facebook about this announcement. I can’t control what they think about what I do for a living. I might not even be able to control whether I continue to use Facebook in the short-term, depending on whether being on Facebook gets in the way of my job or hurts my ability to focus on the tasks at hand.

This post isn’t about politics. I don’t care what you think about immigration reform or executive action or whatever you call it. I really don’t care. But I do care how I react to the lack of control I have right now.

I believe someone else is in control and I think He laughs at me (with me? He might say that…hmph), at my feeble attempts to commandeer the wheel, when the wheel’s not mine to grab. I think he chuckles or grimaces, depending my chosen reaction, every six months or so, when my husband makes a biannual trip abroad to do a medical mission, and He permits big, life altering events to happen, presumably to knock me down off of control panel.

This announcement isn’t about me, but He will use it (and many other events in my life, to be sure) to teach me about myself and how to be better.

Here’s to driving with a light hand on the wheel over the course of the next day, week, month and year. It will be a wild ride.

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