My church is in the midst of a series called Breathing Room, which is designed to help us to find peace and joy even in the midst of crazy schedules and life events. Finding breathing room is especially hard for me right now, because a life in transition is not only busy but fraught with Kathleen-created obstacles like a need for control over whatever I can control, since so little is actually within my control. Yes, there is a house cleaning schedule on the fridge now. I can control that.
My life is in transition. A month ago, we packed up our oldest daughter and send her to college, and our youngest daughter started high school. College tuition, dorm readiness, high school readiness and general craziness have been the order of the day.
There are other transitions on the horizon. I am discerning whether to stay in consulting or joining one of two organizations that have great missions. Of course, this transition decision could be made for me if these organizations decide I’m not the person for the jobs. I know the job search journey for me over the past year has been a very large part of God’s hammering process, breaking me of my need for control. I’m expecting for Him to make my cleaning schedule “disappear” from the fridge (or outsourcing that job to my husband).
Speaking of lack of control…
My mother and grandmother are transitioning from this world to another. Both are in hospice and both live close to me. I see my mom daily, and my grandmother weekly at least. I am handling my mom’s financial and medicare issues. The whole process is exhausting, but I’m thankful for the many unexpected opportunities it has provided. I have the opportunity to give grace to overworked, underpaid health care providers (which I admit I do not extend daily), and it gives me time to grieve the loss of the matriarchs of our family. And now I know far more than elder care law that I ever cared to know.
So where is my breathing room?
I find it in productive arenas (prayer, time with my youngest daughter and husband, weekly skyping sessions with my oldest daughter). I find it in less productive arenas (Candy Crush–I know, you are embarrassed for me).
I haven’t been in the pool now for a month, and that is a shame. It’s a result of fatigue, even though swimming gives me breathing room. I’m hoping someone comes to my front door, drags my out of my house and drives me to Meadowbrook Swim Club (and throws me in the pool, I guess). But that’s my accountability admission–check in to see if I went to the pool this week, where the solid black line mesmerizes me and gives me thinking time while muscle memory takes over the limbs.
Breathing room. We all need it. But we have to do to make it happen.
What are you going to do to have the breathing room in life that you need?