Tonight my youngest child has her high school orientation. Tomorrow my oldest child moves into her college dorm. Monday both kids start classes. For the next few days I won’t be able to see my mom, who is in hospice, due to these transitions in the lives of my children.
Today I signed a new consultancy contract and separately am preparing for an interview with an awesome international relief organization, for a fantastic position.
Because things aren’t crazy enough.
There is a lesson here. I’m not completely sure what it is. But I know, in part, it deals with my insistent, insatiable, and often unreasonable need for clarity and planning.
I want to be settled. But I’m not, and it doesn’t seem like my work life will be finally (at least in the short-term) settled for some time.
I decide I’ll be a consultant. For good. That’s it.
But then I get an opportunity that is a blessing, but it messes up my CLEAR PLAN to be a consultant. If this opportunity wasn’t with such a great organization, it wouldn’t mess up anything.
It’s almost comical how the plan is, quite clearly, there is no plan. At least not one that I’m privy to right now.
There is logic to God’s withholding all plans from me, from any of us. We can’t be fully trusted with this information. We wouldn’t know what to do with it. We would misuse it.
These days, it is truly a one-day-at-a-time prospect for me. Yet I still try to wrangle the unknown (what’s my job?) in a small, neat pen, and defeat it with my will (my will, by the way, changes hourly these days).
Thankfully, God both laughs at this and prevents me from cementing my future when I’m only supposed to worry about today.
So, that is what I will do. Only worry about today.
What’s for dinner?